Breathe

Breathe by Becky Hemsley, speaks to some of the challenges we as humans are always navigating.

Below this piece we discuss our interpretation of this writing.

She sat at the back, and they said she was shy

She led from the front and, they hated her pride

They asked her advice and then questioned her guidance

The branded her loud and then were shocked by her silence

When she showed no ambition, they said it was sad, so she told them her dreams and they said she was mad

They told her they’d listen, then covered their ears and gave her a hug, whilst they laughed at her fears

She listened to all of it, thinking she should be the girl they told her to be, best as she could

But one day she asked what was best for herself instead of trying to please everyone else

So she walked through the forest and stood with the trees and she heard the wind whisper and dance with the leaves

She spoke to the willow, the elm and the pine and she told them what she’d been told time after time

She told them she never felt nearly enough, she was either too little or far, far too much, too loud, or too quiet, too fierce or too weak, too wise or too foolish, too bold or too meek

Then she found a small clearing surrounded by firs and she stopped, and she heard what the trees said to her

She sat there for hours not wanting to leave

For the forest said nothing it just let her breath

We are all living from unconscious and conscious patterning. It is this patterning that makes up or colours our identity. It’s the hand we are dealt in this life, and includes:

• our genetic inheritance

• our cultural, social and religious backgrounds

• our beliefs

• our education

• our environments

It’s not right or wrong – it just IS, we just ARE, this is BEING HUMAN

However, we get attached to our tribes, our identities, our beliefs, our achievements, becoming a better person, more success, wealth, stuff, and so on.

If we think of ‘i’ being our innocently conditioned selves, we can see how this lower case ‘i’ is inherently insecure and unstable.

From ‘i’ we innocently engage in comparison and judgement, right and wrong, good and bad, better than or worse than.

As children we received this ‘gift’ from our parents, teachers, relatives etc. As adults we have imparted this ‘gift’ to our children or in our roles as teachers, carers, employers, managers etc.

This is the big trip up...and we ALL fall for it.

Until we start to get eyes for inherent unhappiness that lies in chasing these rainbows.

Who we are is enough.

ALWAYS.

Everyone is doing their best with the thinking they have that looks real to them. (Sydney Banks)

What looks and feels personal, is not a personal assault nor a personal achievement.

It’s a natural by product of our accumulated conditioning, and that of the other person we may be engaging with.

We all live in our separate realities, and are constantly navigating living alongside others who are in their version of reality.

We are on a lifelong journey of noticing when we are taking life’s circumstances and interactions, personally. While they may totally feel personal, we and the ‘other’ are always coming from our particular version of reality. And these versions won’t always gel.

We will disagree.

Being right, taking the moral high ground doesn’t help. Feeling righteous can temporarily feel like a good thing. A sense of pride that we won or achieved a desired outcome.

Being wrong seldom feels great, and the guilt, shame and blame that is layered on top can feel impossible to climb out from under.

These feelings evolve from having expectations and being ATTACHED to a particular outcome...to things going a certain way.

The more deeply we see this in OUR OWN responses, the more compassion we have for our unconscious ways.

Once we deeply see this for ourselves, we can more solidly see this in others. We’re not having to try and work to ‘do’ kindness, forgiveness, or care; these qualities naturally are our responses.

We are in touch once again with the peaceful, wise place that resides within. Our uppercase ‘I’, like the trees, gifts us a grounded, presence, with a strong trunk and branches reaching towards the sky.